i really need some excitement laahh!!!

I AMMMM nearly 20 weeks pregnant and SERIOUSLY I takde lagi rase excited on having this baby.

*sigh

1. I haven’t go around to have a look at my maternity clothes..

2. Belum survey barang2 baby..

3. Belum lagi excited tengok my friends with their babies/kids..

4. Belum lagi interested nak cari buku & read about babies, I’m only reading the ones yang I have encountered ie why I’m not comfortable sleep at night etc. Meaning I only read stuff when I have too..

Ape nak jadik with me nehhhh??! I know I know, I don’t like babies / kids but ATLEAST PLEASE GIVE ME SOME EXCITEMENT ON MY OWN BABY!!

Takde dpt banyak, sket pun jadiklaaa…sikit jer, nonet jet, ciput jer, can can??

Oh well, Insya allah, I pray that my excitement will come really really soon.

Anyhoo, I’m also really thankful that I have my very good friend that have been advising me on the antenatal check-ups. PLEASE GO TO THE GOVERN CLINIC INSTEAD OF PRIVATE ONES. They put many details on it, sampai gigi pun dorang buat check up plus I really dont have to wait for long unlike in private. and ITS INDEED VERY TRUEEEE – I’ve only waited for 30 mins before my turn during my 1st check-up and they have the best services, the nurses are very well trained and very nice to me too!!

But, seriously I need to have some semangat to have this baby!

Hmmm, maybe I takde rasa SEXCITED sgt cos:

1. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be a mom or not!!! Subhanallah..

2. I’m so afraid just thinking of going in to a hospital, inikan pulak to deliver a baby!!!???!! Nyakutttttttttt!!..

3. I have this irrational fear when thinking about my baby inside my tummy, sometimes, I sampai terpikir, is he/she still there or not yek?? I know I shouldn’t think that way but seriously AKU PHOBIAAAAAAAAA!! Astaghfirullah.

4. Tgh pikir pasal kesakitan yg perit teramat & darah yg akan byk kluar! huhuhu

5. My financial status currently – hopefully rezeki bertambah murah next year. Ka-Chinnggggggggggg!

At the meantime, I AM BLESSED that:

1. I still have my good friends that really understand me, taking care of me and filled-me up their love love love..

2. My mom & two elder brothers - always being there for me! ♥ u lotssssssssss!

3. My sister that have been cooking for me at home – I just love home cooking + my sister is a very good cook, so thank u for taking good care of my meals. ♥ u nosh

4. My best friend, Ayu whom the one & only person that I’ve shared my stories during my critical times, of course the happiest time too…and I OWED U BIG TIME U!! Semoga Allah murahkan rezeki u & family dunia & akhirat.

5. and lastly, my dearly husband with his endless love. I’m sorry I cant provide u much love during this time sayang, hopefully soon okayyy.. *wink

So hopefully all goes well with my pregnancy, its less than 6 months to go. AMIN.